As Roberto Mancini and Sheikh Mansour sit themselves down for a cup of the finest coffee and discuss their upcoming title defence which begins in the third week of August, mostly about how many players they can rope in at the Etihad before the Fair Play rules kick in, I suggest we too do the same and chat, without the beverage of course.
Before anything else, I would like to congragulate you on that last gasp title win you managed to pull off this May. I mean, even the trophy needed fresh air and the Etihad trip was a welcome change of weather, having spent twelve of its twenty years in Old Trafford’s cabinet. But even as Aguero’s goal stabbed a rusted knife deep into my heart, I couldnt help but notice the banners being put up throughout the game. What is it with all the pansies at the Etihad and their ‘Blue Moon’ gibberish?
Yes, you do win the title once in a blue moon. And, trust me, that is nothing to be proud of, especially considering how you have a 33% record of being relegated the following season. Well, 50% actually, but I’m more than sure that the multi-millionaire superstars who adorn your starting line-ups will put on a good enough show to help keep you up in the Premier League. Also, you can rest assured that Ferguson and Co. will once again take up the laborious job of painting England – and possibly all of Europe – the usual hue of red. Tragically, though, with the hideous design on our new kit.
Beacause you see, we possess something that you dont, and cannot even purchase. Something that you used to pride yourself on having. Yes, the youth culture, the famed Deoxyribonucleic Acid of Manchester United. Or by the more common name by which Ferguson refers to it – DNA.
No doubt, you will keep challenging us for the title. And even win one or two for yourself in the process. You will take over the role Chelsea were playing until the end of the season in which Ancelotti was canned, and will in all likelihood resume this year. But our games will have an added dimension to the rivalry, which will closely resemble the one we used to have against Arsenal at the turn of the century, when the urbane Arsene Wenger was giving Ferguson the fight of his life in a much more respectable way than the manner in which Mancini is now.
And even when Alex ‘Braveheart’ Ferguson calls time on his Old Trafford rule and bids farewell to the game which the legendary Bill Shankly describes as ‘more than a matter of life and death’, and waves to every corner of the majestic Theatre Of Dreams that is Old Trafford – at which point you can expect us United fans to be huddled up in bed and weeping miserably on a pillow – United will continue to dominate English football, in a manner which will not only win us trophies, but also seduce even the most purist of football aficionados. And Roberto Mancini will always be the remembered as the man who was foolishly tipped to succeed Ferguson to the English throne.
It suddenly dawns on me that I’ve blabbered enough. So, its your turn now, blue moon worshipers.
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